I haven't been posting excerpts from my travel adventures lately for several reasons. I've managed to find a place to stay on the island so that I don't commute as much, and after some painful learning I'm much better versed in what roads to avoid. Today I had an especially rare event occur: I actually had fun when driving in.
It all started as I exited the toll booth plaza at the Queens/Midtown tunnel. This is always a cool stretch of road because I get to accelerate from 0 to 60MPH without any obstacles as I escape the claustrophobic tunnel interior. As I hit 50 and meandered into the left lane, I found my further speeding blocked by a car that I couldn't identify the make of. As I began tailgating, I saw the little horse icon and realized I was sitting inches away from a guy driving a Ferrari 355. As he was from Pennsylvania, he apparently wasn't aware that the 40MPH speed limit in this area was unenforcable, as there is nowhere for police to clock you from and no space to pull you over even if they wanted to ticket you. I waited until I'd cleared the car in the middle lane, signaled, downshifted, and proceeded to pass Mr. Ferrari at a high rate.
Shortly afterward, he came to realize he'd just been outdriven by somebody in a Geo Prizm, and the testosterone kicked in. With a small amount of effort from his engine, he caught right up with me, and we were off to race down the highway for the next dozen miles.
Now, you'd think I'd have no chance of keeping up with this guy. But this was no ordinary raceway: this was the Long Island Expressway. The traffic was heavy enough that rapid lane shifts were required to keep moving, but not so bad that you were stuck. I had three things going for me in this competition. First, my car wasn't as big; this meant I could squeeze through smaller openings. Second, I have not a trace of concern for the welfare of my automobile. Third, Ferrari boy had the top down, which meant he was experiencing considerable drag from his hair gel.
After about 15 miles where we alternated the lead position every minute or so, we hit a bit of a backup (like I said, this was the LIE). My automotive rival skipped to the right lane, where traffic was moving a bit better because of exiting vehicles. He joined the crowd and left the road. Since he chickened out, I was compelled to declare myself the winner of our race, and I celebrated by drinking some Coke. It's a good thing that I was sticking to Caffeine Free today, or somebody might have really gotten hurt.