REVIEW: Fossil, Fossil (Sire)

- John Walker

Fossil's eponymous debut album is brought to you by Hilly Kristal, the man whose New York bar, CBGB's, spawned the punk/new wave movement almost 20 years ago, allowing bands like the Ramones, the Patti Smith Group, and Television a live forum for their talents when no one else would. For this, we owe him eternal gratitude. For Fossil, though, we must try to forgive him.

Fossil's promo material makes much of the fact that Mr. Kristal has broken a life-long personal vow never to manage any of the acts that pass through his bar, all in order to guide their career. The real irony here is the fact that Fossil (implications of the name duly noted) sounds like much of what the aforementioned Ramones et. al. were trying to knock off the stages and airwaves of North America back in 1976.

The album starts off on a sprightly note with "Moon," a power-pop ditty that brings to mind mid-period Cheap Trick, with a crunchy and crisp guitar riff and innocuous lyrics. No problem here--this is the kind of song that would sound good as a soundtrack to a few beers at your local pub. It might not make you rush over to the jukebox to check out its authors, though. Still, pleasant enough stuff.

After "Moon," though, the troubles really begin. Singer/guitarist's Bob O'Gureck's vocals have a saccharine quality (the promo makes nervous references to Robin Zander of Cheap Trick as justification) that really starts to grate after a couple tunes. "Tim", the album's second track, features some OK sounding retro-fretwork, but the whole thing starts to veer a little too close to Frampton Comes Alive doobie-wah territory for my tastes.

"Martyr's Wife" has witty enough lyrics ("I'm dating a man named Jesus / He talks in metaphors / He is a public nuisance . . . God created irony to play mind games with you and me") and a passable melody, but the maudlin necrophilia of "Josephine Baker" is an outright disaster, with the band failing to define their ironic intent clearly enough, and a vocal which moos like James Taylor on 10 year old Quaaludes. Just try to sit through this one without squirming.

The remainder of Fossil's debut drowns in a mishmash of murky intentions, as in the choppy "Bury Me In The Ocean", which takes off briefly before crash-landing as the band arrests what momentum they've built. "Thundershower" starts promisingly, but is quickly revealed to be half of a song idea, a verse looking for a chorus. "Molly" is an obligatory comment on PC ("I won't disrespect you / won't heterosex you") which comparatively stands tall beside the earnestness of "Fall", which features lyrical gems like "Fall is here again / stirring up the leaves / my heart and pen." Hey, how about the moon in June, guys?

When asked for general words of wisdom for all those who might hear his band, singer O' Gureck replies, "don't quit your day job." That about sums up my feelings on Fossil's debut album. Shame on you, Hilly.