=============================================================[July 25, 1993 ]= __ | __ _ _ ___ | || ___ | __ __ (__ | | | \/ | ____) |___ || |___) |__ (__) | | ___) |___| | | | |___| |___) || |____ The Electronic Fanzine for Cool Folks Like You Editor: Scott F. Williams Internet: Scotty.Williams@launchpad.unc.edu a.k.a. "Pathojam" Managing Editor: Bob Gajarsky Internet: gajarsky@pilot.njin.net Contributing Martin Bate Writers: Debbie Boxer Sherman Charles Bob Gajarsky Tim Kennedy P. Nina Ramos David Shields Scott F. Williams Address all comments, subscription requests, etc. to gajarsky@pilot.njin.net ============================================================================== Consumable is published by Pathojammic Productions as a service to all who use computers to communicate. All articles in Consumable remain (C) copyright their author(s). Permission for re-publication in any form other than within this document must be sought from the Publisher. ============================================================================== .------------. | Contents |-. `------------' | `------------' Introduction by Bob Gajarsky Tour Dates - US3, Boo Radleys REVIEW: A Halo Called Fred, _Chester's Dozen_ by P. Nina Ramos Brain Surgery Made Easy by Scott Williams Picking a PC Motherboard by Scott Williams ============================================================================== Hey - we've got a new format and all. So look at us now... This issue is much shorter than normal - we're still trying to catch up from the New Music Seminar in New York. THAT information will be in the next issue. But for this one, there's some tour dates that should be of interest, along with a couple of non-music articles. Enjoy! - Bob --- US3, with their breakthrough single "Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia)", are taking their unique rap/jazz style on the road. Here are some dates: July 28 - New York - Supper Club 29 - TBA 30 - Philadelphia - Trocadero 31 - Washington DC - 930 Club August 2 - Danbury, CT - Tuxedo Junction 3 - Boston, MA - Axis 4 - Providence, RI - Strand 5 - Montreal - Metropolis 6 - Toronto - Palladium 7 - Cleveland - Peabody's 9 - Detroit - Industry 10 - Chicago - Park West 11 - Columbia, MO - Blue Note 12 - Memphis - 616 13 - New Orleans - House of Blues 14 - Dallas - Deep Elurn 16 - Denver - Ogden 17 - Salt Lake City - DV8 19 - Vancouver - Vogue 20 - Seattle - Oz 21 - Portland, OR - Laluna 22 - San Francisco - Filmore 23 - Los Angeles - House of Blues --- boo radleys on second stage at lollapolooza (they also have a new ep out called Lazarus, with remixes by st. entienne and others) august 12 atlanta, GA at lakewood amphitheatre 13 same same 15 miami,FL at bicentennial park 16 deland, FL at fairgrounds 18 new orleans, LA at uno soccer field 19 houston, TX at dragway 20-21 dallas, TX at starplex amphitheatre 24 phoenix, AZ at desert sky pavillion 25 san diego, CA at SDSU Aztec Bowl 27-28 mountain view,CA at shoreline amphitheatre 30 vancouver, BC at sea bird island 31 george, WA at the gorge september 4-5 carson, CA at cal state dominguez hills --- A Halo Called Fred - _Chester's Dozen_ (Ludicrous Records) Maybe AHCF comes off sorta like They Might Be Giants meets Ween but we all know Adam, Bruce and Jim Bob Rubbernecker are more than that. These three boys make music simply -acoustic guitar, cordless bass, and a table full of Tupperware(?). Sound too eclectic for your taste? A lot of New Brunswick, NJ (Consumable zine's geographic homebase) folks have already found these guys amusing, fun and just downright cool. _Chester's Dozen_ proves to be a nice sampler of the band's ability and offers a chance to hear a side that might go missed on stage. Still, seeing A Halo live is the only way to get the full picture. If your in the NY/NJ area check your local listings and find out for yourself. -P. Nina Ramos Editor's note: here's a little tip for all the netheads. to download tunes from A Halo Called Fred (and plenty of other bands) contact IUMA (Internet Underground Music Archive). reach them via gopher or ftp@ sunsite.unc.edu (pub/electronic-publications/IUMA). either that, or access via World Wide Web@ http:/sunsite.unc.edu/ianc/index.html. a full story on IUMA appears in the July 14-28, Rolling Stone (RS686/687 ) --- Another Modest Proposal, or: Brain Surgery Made Easy by Scott F. Williams Where in these days of recession it behooves us to be as industrious as possible, the do it yourselfer is especially advantaged. Paying a specialist is not only the lazy and costly way out, but an excuse for not developing one’s hidden talents. The worst examples of this sloth comply with our great demands for medical attention. At the risk of sounding like a health-food store sales rep., I submit that the conveniences of modern medicine do not equal the loss dealt by Western Society's wholesale sell out of the simple-wholistic medicinal practices that have been our birthrights for eons. A case study of a typical American might read as follows: See Dick sniffle. See Dick worry. See Dick spend seventy-two bucks in consultation fees. The sad truth is that we are selling ourselves short of our abilities to take care of ourselves. So with out further ado, let today be the dawn of the age of the kitchen physician, or the in this case, the home neurosurgeon. It is just plain fact that with a little practice and a few readily available tools and materials, the average reader may successfully complete surgery on a male brain. Operations on the female brain may be possible in the future, but this editor has yet to fully understand its structure, logic, and organization. Before any incisions are made, a specific, yet uncomplicated diagnosis should be made. Then, assemblage of the basic materials should commence. These include: scalpel or X-acto knife, small handsaw, electrical tape, hair clippers, SPAM can keys, cheese cloth, a turkey baster, and above all, lots and lots of canned whipped cream (aerosol variety only -NO COOL WHIP!). To begin the pre-operation, shave a line around the patient's head with your clippers. For the sake of establishing a standard procedure, this line should stretch from earlobe to earlobe, while rising to just above the eyebrows. (NOTE: allowances should be made for patients with really big ears; bald areas can be scribed with a grease pencil). Next, anesthesia must be administered. Depending on the weight of the individual, allow him to fully inhale the gaseous (NO2) content of 10 to 15 whipped cream cans. (You may want a few for yourself by the way, but be careful; the buzz is pretty intense and you probably don’t have malpractice insurance.) By now, the patient should be happily unconcious. The meat of the matter is now at hand. Using a new X-acto blade, delicately slice through the scalp until the cranium is visible around its entire circumference. (OBSERVE: If the patient complains, makes obscure references to Young Frankenstein starring Gene Wilder, and/or makes rude guttural noises, pause briefly and give him a few more cans.) Next, insert flaps of scalp through the SPAM keys and roll them back out of the way. Using a good quality handsaw, carefully cut through the skull until the top of it can be neatly removed as one piece. All the while, take care to saw around the perimeter of the skull only (as opposed to through it -for obvious reasons). Place the top of the head out of harm's way with the hair-side down. Please resist temptation to serve hor d'ourves in it; the crumbs will be a nuisance later... This should expose the entire cerebral mass. Place cheese cloth over the patient's head and tilt it. In so doing, drain off the cerebro-spinal fluid into a clean mayonnaise jar (do not throw it out). Wash and dry the brain with a clean chamois and a mild detergent. Be sure to scrub between all those grooves and folds. Now comes the creative part. Refer back to the diagnosis and take appropriate steps to remedy the affliction. While it is too involving to list the fixes for every malady, I'll list a few for examples sake: A. If the patient is over-sexed (ask females around the office), run a copper wire from his pituitary gland to his temporal lobe. This way, when he recovers, he will delight in venting his energies through polite-intellectual conversation rather than chasing the secretary. B. In the case of a blatant priss, remove the pituitary completely. (This is cruel, but very, very, effective.) C. If the patient suffers from chronic migraine headaches, or is afflicted with tumors of any sort, feel free to remove anywhere up to 85% of the brain. (Studies show that most humans utilize only up to 12%. Besides, dead weight isn't needed, what's not there can't hurt, and he probably won't ever tell the difference, anyway; right? Once the fault(s) has/have been corrected, it will be necessary to protect the brain from infections (which produce vivid dirty thoughts and foul language). This is achieved by applying Doc Scott's famous Feel Good Brain Sauce. Follow this formula closely. In a small pot combine and let simmer (5 minutes approx.): 2 cups olive oil 2 tsp Advil (powdered) 1 tsp Milk of Magnesia pinch of beef bouillon (for manly men only) salt to taste The United Negro College Fund (or is that Jeffrey Dahmer?) claims that the mind is a terrible thing to baste. However, through meticulous and extensive research, I have found evidence that shows that a turkey baster is, indeed, the best way to apply the aforementioned brain sauce. After marinating your patient's brain for no less than 10 minutes, garnish with chopped parsley. Step back and admire your handiwork. The rest of the surgery is as easy as pie. Find that mayo jar full of cerebro-spinal fluid and pour it all back. Reposition the upper part of the cranium, roll down the scalp flaps, and discard the SPAM keys. Secure the patient's skull with electrical tape, and you're done! Please allow the patient to wake naturally. ----- Picking a PC Motherboard by Scott F. Williams What comes on a hundred square inch plate, is served with a smorgasbord of chips and slots, and may be prepared in any multitude of flavors? Well, it's the PC motherboard and purchasing one may even confound self-described power users. These days, common PCs must be capable of feats that were just yesterday considered to be the jobs of exotic machines operated by eccentrics in thick lab glasses. For that reason, choosing this vital piece of equipment correctly is of the utmost importance. Most folks, however, think a motherboard a motherboard is a motherboard. This article aims to dispel such misconceptions. Rather than flirt with arcane "techie" terminology, and suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous benchmarks, let's compare the features and qualities that you'll need to involve in your purchasing decision. -whether or not you consider a pocket protector a stylish wardrobe accessory... A helpful contact, Micronix motherboard's, company spokesman, Tom Benoit filled us in on the current state of the art: "multi-media is really driving the industry right now... compressing video requires memory, processor throughput, hard drive [performance], etc. The need for the best performance is here." Whether your needs involve multi-media or not, these same basic parameters are those upon which any system's performance is based. The first step in any custom computer design still lies, however, in deciding your goals and reconciling them with a practical budget. You're just doing e-mail and basic word processing? A 486SX-25 may suffice. But, does that leave room for growth? Some of us need a CAD or desktop publishing workstation right now. For that kind of performance, anything below a DX2-66 should be ruled out immediately. The menial price differences among the processors just doesn't warrant buying any lower anymore. Actually, this brings us to another important consideration. Should a wise buyer select a board and cpu together or separately, and with Pentium or 486 architecture? Price may decide that one completely, but there are other points to ponder. Usually, motherboards come rated at the clock speed that supports the cpu installed. That's fine unless you want to upgrade to a faster speed. Buying a cpu seperately and then installing it in a board that supports 25, 33, and 40mhz cycles may pay off in the long run. One thing is for sure, do not buy a new 486 system with the intention of throwing a Pentium (P24T) overdrive processor into it! At this point, there are four different upgrade socket designs and the P24T itself is nowhere in sight. It remains to be seen what Intel plans to do about this and when. Furthermore, given the differences between true Pentium and 486 motherboard design (64-bit operation verses 32) the performance toll exacted by the obsolete boards will most likely not warrant the expenditure. In a nutshell, don't believe the hype. According to Micronix, the future in Intel's line is in the 3.3 volt cpus. Essentially, that leaves us the 90/100mhz Pentiums and the newer DX4s (the first DX4s were really 3.45 volts, by the way). These clock-tripled 486s sit in the same integer math classroom as the older Pentiums and will be a performance bargain for many. Environmentalists may appreciate the "green" aspects of the lower voltage units as well. Next, decide whether you want today's hottest technology or yesterday's tried and true. Evaluate your computer chic. Can you weed through misleading or embellished ad copy? How about deciphering obtuse comparison tests? Believing sales pitches is not always wise, although these days most products are "good" at the very least. Thankfully, the computer marketplace, capitalism revved to the extremes, is so volatile that the "lemons" get juiced in short order. Nevertheless, taking the conservative approach is the better bet right now. Speaking of technology, four newer players in the huddle are the PCI bus, plug and play, flash BIOS, and 72-pin SIMMs. Tackling the last two first, the experts all agree that they are features to go with. Whereas in the past, older BIOSs could potentially conflict with modern hard and software, a flash BIOS can be instantly upgraded via downloadable software. This kind of flexibility will become an even greater blessing as computer evolution continues to gain speed. Similarly, the 72-pin RAM format takes up less board real estate than the older design, allowing designers to fit more features onto the motherboard, and users to (guess what?) fit more memory. Also, quite practically, we'll be able to install just one SIMM at a time rather than in sets of four. Anyone who has studied RAM upgrades on a 30-pin system will know first-hand why they'd want to circumvent such frustration. In the words of Alaris Computers, Vice-President, Raymond Yu, "72-pin is the SIMM of the future." The ballots aren't yet cast unanimously in favor of the PCI bus, however. While clearly the only way to go with the Pentiums, 486 users would probably do better by sticking with VL-Bus. For the time being, with 486s (including the DX4s), any performance increases with the adolescent PCI interface are insignificant at most. Says Micronix's Thomas Benoit, "from a value standpoint, VESA is still there. There are plenty of peripherals supporting the bus. PCI is lagging behind, but it's where the industry is headed." Still, the challenge is not only to determine which components are individually better for your purposes, but which will co-exist in a peaceful [and hopefully synergistic] manner. Every college frat boy knows not to mix liquor and beer, but how about RAM speeds or IRQs and DMAs? "Plug and play", the scheme designed to tame the PC platform's notorious propensity for device conflicts, is another new technology whose development cycle has barely entered puberty and, in this case, hasn't even appeared yet. Chicago, code name for Windows 4.0, promises to support the scheme, but the operating system is itself only in it's first beta stage. The verdict? If you need a motherboard now, don't fret about plug and play; just make sure that you have that flash BIOS ready for later support. Those major considerations discussed, let's move on to a few other points: Motherboards can come with built in features like video, sound, disk controllers, etc. Sound technology is still changing rapidly while video and disk control are relatively stable. Letting the main board take care of the latter chores might do you well; it can free up valuable expansion slots and lessen potential device conflicts. Then again, these features will increase unit price and infringe on total design freedom -one of the major factors that sets the PC philosophy apart from the centrally planned Macintosh. Those in search of top performance will want to add their own components for best suitability. A performance motherboard should arrive on the table with at least 256, if not 512k, of writeback cache. Ask for it. Rather, demand it; writeback technology is now common place and any manufacturer not employing it deserves not a cent of your money. Physical size of the board may be a vital point in your buying decision. According to the laws of physics, two masses may not occupy the same space at the same time, and if those two masses happen to be your board and the case or power supply, you'll stand to be a bit upset when the parts don't fit. The lowest-tech problems are often the most obtrusive, aren't they? Lastly, usually not even a considered, is product support. Can the board manufacturer be reached by phone? Many components are assembled in Southeast Asia; do the manufacturers have representatives in the United States? Calling Singapore about a misplaced jumper could be expensive. Does a decent reputation proceed the company or are they a fly by night operation? Case in point, the 386 board installed in this writer's system doesn't even list a manufacturer let alone offer a tech-support hotline! That's okay, though, because a brand-new, heavily researched motherboard is going in within the week. Happy computing!